• Monica

Why Everything Begins With You.

Not your mother-in-law and her selfishness. Not your sister and her "always right" attitude. Not the customer service rep and his impatience.

You. It starts with You.

It starts with you discerning, out of the 50,000 - 80,000 thoughts that run through your head in a single day, the few hundred (or thousand) that negatively affect your mood. Here is why:

Your mood is created from your:


Breaking it down further, we find your:


This is where Everything Begins With You; at your Beliefs and Assumptions.

As kids, we grow up learning about ourselves from the people around us and we learn about the world and our place in it from the circumstances and events happening around us. We continue learning and learning until eventually we start to form our own identity (after 5 years of age).

But for most of us, it's an identity that is not always truthful. After all, we were forced to listen to others as to how we should live, what's right, what's not right, etc. For years we were being conditioned by them and by the world. Think of how many beliefs and assumptions were put into your empty, little head after you entered this world! We can appreciate the teachings that kept us safe like, "don't touch the stove", but what about the ones that introduced us to fear or distrust like, "stick with your kind of people" or "you can never trust a ________."?

And the beliefs and assumptions didn't stop accumulating after childhood. While they multiplied, the existing ones grew stronger. As you got older, they weighed on you more heavily because they were compounded with the stress and anxieties of work, finances, wife/husband, kids, mother/father-in-laws, neighbors, strangers, and on and on.

Before long, you realize where did the time go, or worse, where did my life go?

Why am I so... unhappy?

You never made it about you. You never had the chance to, or you never know how to.

Until now.

You came into this world bombarded with people telling you how to live and what to believe and those beliefs came with piles of raggedy assumptions.

Your thoughts, those small thousands of the 80,000 that cause your mood to be:

  • Anxious

  • Fearful

  • Empty

  • Hopeless

  • Demanding

are part of your Conditioned Self, but they aren't the True you. Your True Self thinks clearly, deeply, and fully with courage, understanding, patience, and vitality. Your True Self knows what it wants to feel and doesn't let anyone or anything harmful enter its sacred space.

Not like it did before.

You have to take it upon yourself to do something for yourself. First, you have to recognize those thoughts. It's about complete, dedicated awareness. Even if it's just a small, negative thought you have about someone after seeing them on social media. Catch it. What makes you have that thought about that person? Where did it come from? Did someone or a circumstance I was in, teach me to believe I had to feel this way about this person or to judge what they are doing?

If you are really brave and open to exposing your Conditioned Self, ask yourself these three questions:

  1. "What part of me likes being this way?" (Hint: There must be something you like about it or else you wouldn't keep doing it or allowing yourself to do it.)

  2. "Is it helping me and/or those around me?"

  3. If it's not helping you (and if you're honest with yourself it won't be), ask yourself: "Why then, do I continue to have this thought, belief, or assumption if it doesn't benefit me?"

Lastly, try to think: where did this behavior of thought come from? Only then when you discover the source, do you become aware of the power you have to change it. I've seen and experienced it myself and with many of my clients. It's a glorious moment. One you will never forget.

Look at you first! Seek to know and understand your Conditioned Self so you can bring out your True Self. Ask anyone who has ever done the internal work on themselves and they will tell you that it's not how different they see life, it's how differently they live life. They will also tell you how differently they view others, even the ones who used to cause them pain, and how they finally feel the joy and happiness they have been longing for and how that joy and happiness extends to everyday, small situations. No more judging, no more being upset with family members or strangers.

And the best part? It's life-long. When your True Self is revealed, there is no going back to the old way because you have realized and tasted the infinite treasure that is within you.

Anyone who has found their True Self can notice plain as day when the Conditioned Self with its false beliefs and assumptions is ruling someone else. It's obvious by their eyes, body manner, health, insecurities, and addictions (including non-alcohol and drug addictions like shopping, smoking/vaping, extreme dieting, etc.).

"It doesn't have to be this way!!!" I want to scream to them!

Everyone has the opportunity to find their True Self. It just takes the inner work. I see and hear so many people crying and begging for a remedy from outside of themselves so they can "find" happiness, but the happiness already resides in you. You just have to:

1) Believe everything begins with you and make the commitment to change.

2) Be aware of those nasty thoughts that continuously affect your mood.

3) Discover the origin of those unhappy, mean, hopeless thoughts/lies.

4) Replace them with the truth that you discover, not what anyone else told you to believe.

Happiness can only be found by you. It won't happen overnight because it's a process, but it can be uniquely yours in time. It's becomes your own personal adventure. You will discover newness in you, that I promise.

Make the commitment and the universe will hear you.

There are many programs led by some amazing people that can help those whose realities are a struggle because of hardened beliefs and paralyzing assumptions. Find a certified coach from a reputable organization like the International Coaching Federation or contact me to learn more about walking with you to discover your True Self with the Divine Intelligence Program.

Remember, Everything Begins With You.